PUK & KDP to settle differences over a game of Counter Strike 1.6 / “Krdar Sharta!”*


“Krdar Sharta!”* – “It will be just like the good old days,” Mala Bakhtiar said in a press conference.

By Kirmanj: Kurdistan Tribune – 30.7.2013 – The Patriotic Union of Kurdistan (PUK) and the Democratic Party of Kurdistan (KDP) have agreed to settle their rekindling disputes over a “team deathmatch” game of Counter Strike, scheduled on August 31. Sources confirmed that version 1.6 of the tactical shooter game will be played, and that the winning team will indeed “take all.”

Following disagreements over the constitution draft and the role of the Kurdistan Region Parliament (most of which are rooted in oil rights), the PUK and KDP decided to put an end to their differences before relationships backlash into civil war. And what better way to release tension than a good old PC shooting game?

“It will be just like the good old days,” Mala Bakhtiar said in a press conference.

“Except we are not shooting each other for real,” Bakhtiar confirmed, seeming nostalgic of the mid-90s. “It’s just virtual and completely death-proof. And the constitution has been returned to parliament for redrafting.”Playing on the PUK side, a.k.a. the ‘Green Squad’, will be Kosrat Rasul, Barham Salih, Omer Fattah, Latif Rashid, Mala Bakhtiar, Lahur Sheikh Jangi, and Shorsh Ismail. Leading the Green Squad will be the dynamic, westernized, and pampered Qubad Talabani. Jalal Talabani will also brief the team via phone calls with Hero Ibrahim Ahmed, but no one else will be allowed to converse with him.

Representing KDP, a.k.a. the ‘Yellow Squad’, will be Masoud Barzani, Mansour Barzani, Nechirvan Barzani and son, Masrour Barzani, Nasr Barzani, and a host of other Barzanis. Leader of the Yellow Squad will, of course, be Masoud Barzani.

“Really looking forward to the game and kicking some PUK butt!!” said Idris Nechirvan Barzani in an email communication. He also pointed out that “it’s almost like a family reunion” for the Yellow Squad.Sources claimed that the PUK and KDP are still wrangling about team assignments. Who will be ‘counter-terrorists’ and who ‘terrorists’ in the game? But the PUK might yet again give KDP the first choice in return for in-game cash.Gorran and the opposition parties will be spectators. Abdullah Mala Nuri is planning to come equipped with water bottles to throw at whoever might be cheating, but analysts still believe that Masoud Barzani might illegally extend game time until the Yellow Squad’s score is higher than the Green Squad’s.

Others believe that KDP might just feel too nostalgic and bring in tanks and reinforcements from Maliki; after all, it is on August 31. There is also a high chance that PUK will be making use of Aziz Waisi’s talents to pump up the Green Squad’s spirits. But, before we speculate conclusions, let’s keep in mind the classic advice from Barham Salih: “Krdar Sharta!”*

Both squads are currently in preparation for the Counter Strike game and will be training in the presidential internet cafés until the encounter on August 31.

*”Action speaks louder than words!”